fruit tree
jess roses
ink spills in spindle-limbs across the page
lines of black melting into branches
until a tree grows from my tear-stained poetry.
i perch on a limb and spin thin thread-tales
of goose girls and valkyries
until the tree is macramé of my yarns
and tanglings, threaded in a coat
of many colors, keeps warm
and in the winter still bears fruit-
i am alone in the world.
i will pedal a swan boat through the seven seas
and wish you were with me, every moment
i wasn’t loving my solitude, which is to say
no moments at all.
i left my half assembled furniture
and collected my manuscripts
for the journey.
so easy to leave behind all that i knew
but so cold in the hollows where i felt the aloneness
grow, like a fungus / flower / feeling
i look for, under snow, on the beach where i
rode ashore starving, in the hopes it would fill up
the empty rib cage. no luck, i’m afraid
of my own shadow, how do i cope
with the infinite reflections of myself
in the hall of mirrors, in the palace of dreams
whispering small hatreds, multiplied by every facet into symphony!
i take control, these towers now
belong to me. i landed here
and made it my belonging
(let me out, i miss the ragged fruit tree, o please-
i’ll give up this gilt forever).
.
smash the mirrors, blood in my teeth,
hollow body feathers to the floor
in ecstatic agony, gnarl-tree sprouts from anointed courtyard
bears fruit, brimming above the tall walls
mushrooms climb through cracks in stone
thornbramble curls around me, dripping juice-
beetroot red and salted copper;
the forest followed me across the seven seas
even in the winter palace
even at the overcoming madness:
it gave me
a way out
of the castle
at last.
Jess Roses (she/they) is a disabled, neurodivergent, emerging writer. Her focus is the transformation of relationships and experiences with pain and the taboo. She explores how these communal experiences form and relate to societal and personal narratives within and without the psyche. She has been published in Caustic Frolic, Coffin Bell, Raven Review, Grub Street, and more. You can find her work on Instagram at @jessroseswriting.
← previous issue 2 next →