fruit tree

jess roses

ink spills in spindle-limbs across the page

lines of black melting into branches

until a tree grows from my tear-stained poetry.

i perch on a limb and spin thin thread-tales

of goose girls and valkyries

until the tree is macramé of my yarns

and tanglings, threaded in a coat 

of many colors, keeps warm

and in the winter still bears fruit- 


i am alone in the world.

i will pedal a swan boat through the seven seas

and wish you were with me, every moment

i wasn’t loving my solitude, which is to say

no moments at all.


i left my half assembled furniture 

and collected my manuscripts

for the journey.


so easy to leave behind all that i knew

but so cold in the hollows where i felt the aloneness

grow, like a fungus / flower / feeling

i look for, under snow, on the beach where i 

rode ashore starving, in the hopes it would fill up 

the empty rib cage. no luck, i’m afraid

of my own shadow, how do i cope

with the infinite reflections of myself

in the hall of mirrors, in the palace of dreams

whispering small hatreds, multiplied by every facet into symphony!

i take control, these towers now

belong to me. i landed here 

and made it my belonging 

(let me out, i miss the ragged fruit tree, o please-

i’ll give up this gilt forever).

.

smash the mirrors, blood in my teeth,

hollow body feathers to the floor 

in ecstatic agony, gnarl-tree sprouts from anointed courtyard

bears fruit, brimming above the tall walls 

mushrooms climb through cracks in stone

thornbramble curls around me, dripping juice-

beetroot red and salted copper;

the forest followed me across the seven seas

even in the winter palace

even at the overcoming madness:

it gave me 

a way out

of the castle

at last.

Jess Roses (she/they) is a disabled, neurodivergent, emerging writer. Her focus is the transformation of relationships and experiences with pain and the taboo. She explores how these communal experiences form and relate to societal and personal narratives within and without the psyche. She has been published in Caustic Frolic, Coffin Bell, Raven Review, Grub Street, and more. You can find her work on Instagram at @jessroseswriting.

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