maybe we could grab coffee

Kayley was running late, it wasn’t her fault, it was Saturday and traffic was really bad and the parking lot she had counted on was doing some sort of evil peak pricing and tried to charge her THIRTY DOLLARS and it made her so angry that she leaned out the driver side window and told everyone lined up behind her that she was NOT paying that price and could they please get out of her way so she could turn around? There was honking and it was a whole thing; but THIRTY dollars for parking? She swore that West Hollywood was just getting worse and worse!

She circled around a few more times until she found a spot on the street - and that one was next to an encampment so she had to move AGAIN and when she finally walked into the coffee shop it was 1:34, though she didn’t check her watch so she didn’t notice (and she never moved it forward for daylight savings so it was wrong anyway). Nobody seemed to recognize her, almost everyone was on laptops–not very chic at all. A girl waved her over, she had glasses, mousy brown hair, and a silky shirt probably from Target. The girl introduced herself as Margo and then loudly sniffed and told Kayley she had gone ahead and ordered an iced matcha since she’d been waiting and did Kayley want to order anything? Well Kayley was sorry she’d been waiting and yes in fact she would like Hojicha Latte it was delicious, had Margo ever tried one? Margo hadn’t. Margo looked at her for a moment and then made a little bit of a face and then got up to order the latte. Was she expecting Kayley to pay? Shouldn’t Margo pay, since she asked Kayley to meet? Kayley checked her internal compass and they were in agreement that she wouldn’t feel annoyed about it if it wasn’t annoying, so she must be right. But she felt a little bad so she went up to the counter and ordered two chocolate chip scones. Wait, were they vegan? They weren’t? Really? Oh, nevermind, what about the acai bowl, how much was that? $12? Could two people split it? Not really? Ok thanks nevermind she would just get an oatmeal cookie and they could break it in half.

When they sat back down Margo complimented Kayley’s hair and Kayley thanked her and gave her the name of the salon who did her blowout - there was still nothing like a professional blowout and anyone who said otherwise was wrong, Dyson be damned–had Margo ever had a blowout? Wait sorry she didn’t mean anything by that Margo’s hair was so beautiful did she have a curly routine? She didn’t. Oh well she should really look into that, there were videos all over TikTok. 

Margo had been following Kayley for a while and they had exchanged DMs here and there; Margo asked for boyfriend advice (Kayley learned they broke up–she was pretty sure that was what she suggested), and Margo also asked Kayley’s advice about applying to grad school and something about managing her rosacea, too, or maybe that was someone else. Kayley followed her back and occasionally liked her stories or complimented her outfits. 

Margo asked if she could tell her anything about her memoir. Well, no of course! She wanted everything to be a surprise! I mean of course her followers had been keeping up on her instagram a lot but the memoir went way more in depth about her interiority.  Well Margo was not so much asking about content but she was so curious about the process–was it like she thought, that she had to send some fast-talking salt-and-pepper-haired editor 30 pages every week or something? Well no, not exactly, since Kayley had to pay extra for editor feedback and she didn’t feel she needed it. Wait, what? Like they took it out of Kayley’s advance? What advance? The money the publishers paid Kayley when they bought her book. Oh, Kayley wasn’t working with that kind of publisher. Well then how was it being published? Kayley was doing it the indie way. Which was what? She was paying to have the manuscript printed herself. She was even designing her own cover (she could show Margo if she promised not to tell anyone about it, it was super cute). Oh, so, Kayley used a vanity press?

Suddenly Margo’s curls looked very dry. Margo explained she had just been accepted to an MFA writing program - the one she had mentioned before? Yes–Oh! Congrats girl! Margo thanked Kayley very much. She was in town to visit and make sure she liked the campus and everything–well,  LA certainly wasn’t for everyone, Kayley knew that firsthand. Did Margo get in anywhere else?  Yes, Brown, and Iowa–wasn’t Iowa a really incredible program? Yes, it was generally thought to be so. Kayley remembered that’s where Lena Dunham’s character goes in Girls. Margo stared blankly. Kayley noticed she had little crows feet already. She had to be younger than Kayley. Poor thing, she probably didn’t even have access to Botox in her town. It was very easy to find here of course. Kayley was very surprised she hadn’t seen Girls, it was a really great show, she highly recommended it.

Margo explained she was working on a novel and was hoping to finish it during her MFA program. She thought that Kayley had a book deal and since they had talked before, that maybe down the line she could make an introduction with her publisher. Well, that was a lot to assume wasn’t it, Margo? That they exchanged a few DMs and suddenly Kayley would help her career? That was a very entitled way of thinking. That was very indicative of a parasocial relationship and actually, they were strangers, she would do well to remember. Well, it didn’t matter anyway since Kayley didn’t even have a book deal. Kayley wanted to point out that she didn’t need anyone poisoning her work with their colonial academic biases, that she believed in the value of circumventing archaic systems of legitimacy that were created by (and served the interests of) a white supremecist patriarchy, that there needed to be more examples of artists using accessible avenues to publish their own work, and wasn’t she the perfect person to set that example?  Why was that? Wasn’t she a white girl from Connecticut? Didn’t she go to Bryn Mawr? Did she even have any debt? Well actually yes for her information, Margo, Kayley was in a sizable amount of credit card debt and it was really difficult. That wasn’t what Margo meant. Oh so now Margo was gatekeeping which types of debt were legitimate struggles? In fact it was very vulnerable and real of Kayley to even mention it at all and she regretted doing so to someone so judgemental–that was very disgusting and classist–Margo said she grew up poor in rural Idaho. 

So what? What does poor even mean? Kayley grew up in a creative desert, no piano lessons, no ballet, her only artistic activity was gymnastics, and she was bullied there for being too pretty. She knew all her life she wasn’t like anyone from her hometown–she was a wild little girl, she roamed through fields and got brambles stuck in her long blond hair, she made potions with rainwater and wildflowers, she spent hours flipped upside down imagining she was walking on the sky, jumping from cloud to cloud. She got excellent grades all the way to college (college was far too rigid for someone with her mind). Everyone knew she would be famous someday, and now she was. She had 500,000 instagram followers and a long waitlist to order her memoir–what was she even talking about? Oh my god, Margo couldn’t believe she looked up to her–she was a complete phony wasn’t she? Did her mommy front all the money to print the book, is that why she was charging $58 fucking dollars plus shipping to pre-order it on fucking Instagram? Margo was such an idiot for even coming here and she should’ve known better. Kayley certainly felt like an idiot too. Who even calls someone phony, did Margo think she was fucking Holden Caulfield? Well Kayley must be really impressed with herself for referencing that book. Well, in fact, Kayley was.