mea culpa

my fingers listen for swollen blackberries

stumbling blindly amidst brambles that prick        my too-willing flesh 

i used to watch sleeping beauty stagger        entranced and sixteen

to place one slender finger upon a spindle glowing green and i would be

enraged by her complicity her

all-too-easy succumbing to a soporific fate in spite of

all her wisdom of sixteen 

        sixteen        incomprehensible, impossible then        but now

now i lay me down to

close my eyes

hum lullabies i don’t remember

let my fingers wander prick        by prick

dream of being small        amidst the thick of mystic shadows

cast by ancient towering bushes

whispering to my thirsting delight

of bursting globules i will crush between my fingertips

        painted purple        sweet anointing

and pop into my hungry smile        seeds cracking beneath baby teeth

        impossible joy of        blackberry to

                    smile to memory

i pluck one blackberry        shriveled, sun-beaten

and remember, reverent

mea culpa i whisper        penitent lips stained purple

gums clenched

for it is sour        inevitably